


Anti-social Distancing

by sidewinder



Category: The Police (Band)
Genre: COVID-19, Crack, Dysfunctional Family, Gen, Triple Drabble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2020-07-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:49:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25127272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sidewinder/pseuds/sidewinder
Summary: Miles is always looking for an angle.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 7
Collections: Multifandom Drabble 2020





	Anti-social Distancing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Mary_the_gardener](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mary_the_gardener/gifts).



“Stewart! Listen I’ve got a brilliant idea—the hell is that on your face?”

Stewart sighed, struggling to remember why he’d thought it would be advisable to video-call his brother today. “It’s called a _beard_ , Miles. Since we’re not going anywhere these days I’m allowing myself to go to seed. Nice to see you, too. How’s everyone surviving the apocalypse?”

“Apocalypse, cute. That’s what I’m calling about. You guys are sitting on a goldmine. Haven’t you heard it everywhere?”

“Heard what?”

“‘Don’t Stand So Close To Me!’ The unofficial theme song of the pandemic! Well, I say it’s time to make it the _official_ one.”

“Oh, _you_ say. And what does Stingo say? Or Andy?”

“I haven’t talked to them yet.”

“Of course not.”

“I’m counting on your enthusiasm for all things Police to sell them on it.”

“Sell them on _what_ , precisely.” 

“A limited edition special re-release of the single. Comes exclusively with one of these, check it out!”

Miles held up and put on a facemask—that was complete with a cartoon drawing of the three former bandmates standing apart, the song title printed between them. “I’m thinking we should get Funko to make another special edition of the figures too, you know? Complete with facemasks? You guys could record a special socially distanced ad for ’em, maybe a updated recording and—”

“No, Miles.”

“But—”

“No. Fucking. Way. I don’t need the money, Andy doesn’t need the embarrassment, and Stingo definitely doesn’t need either of the above.”

“Yeah well maybe your dear brother Miles could use some of that fucking money, eh? This hasn’t exactly been a boom economy for marketing and booking live entertainment, or selling any merch.”

“My heart bleeds for you. Anyway gotta go, Fi’s calling me to dinner.”

“I don’t hear—”

“Good _bye_ , brother.”


End file.
